So there’s this band who call themselves Sweet Thing Seriously. With a name like that, they’ll never be cool. But while you were adjusting your berets, Sweet Thing were in the other room partying with people who have no problem singing ’da da da’ at the top of their lungs for an hour. If Miles Davis were the birth of cool, Sweet Thing would be the pneumonia that killed him. Meet Sweet Thing, a five-piece Toronto band that play infectious pop tunes. Sometimes they get pretty rocking, in that dramatic way that feels best when you clench your fist and raise it to the sky. Charged with dueling guitars, Beach Boys harmonies, and energy up the wazoo, Sweet Thing are the musical equivalent of drinking a milkshake at a 50s diner where the waiter keeps jumping on the table (and you like it). Let’s call it ’music to dance like a dork to’. Question: do you like your hands? If yes, then you better get your mammy to knit you some mitts you baby, because lead singer Owen Carrier will make you clap, hard. In fact, you’ll do pretty much whatever he wants you to do when you get a load of that showmanship. Some say he sounds like Freddie Mercury, but Owen is so homophobic that he denies it. He’s a real asshole. Owen formed the band three years ago with high school buddy Alex Last. Alex was born with no skin on his face but fortunately, he has a nice beard. He also plays guitar, and likes Michael Jackson. Alex is the sexy mysterious one, for some reason. Maybe it’s because of his unique surf-meets-punk guitar playing. Or the skinless face. That’s for you to figure out. Then there’s the yin to Alex’s skinless yang, Nick Rose. You’ve probably seen him in that commercial for that thing. Yeah, that’s him. He’s really into alt-country and Paul Simon. He plays guitar like an angel, and sings like an angel. He might be an angel. Weighing in at 153 pounds, he’s the fattest member of Sweet Thing. That leaves us with the babes in the back. Tyler Kyte hits things, while Morgan Waters fingers things. Whoa horsey! We’re talking the bass. And when Morgan lays down a groove and starts jumping around like a damn fool, you can’t help but do the same. Tyler, on the other hand, plays the drums like he sexes the ladies - hard and fast. His brother has down syndrome, and when Tyler starts bashing away, you can barely tell them apart. So far, they’ve released a self-titled EP in 2006. People came to their shows and said ’yes, we like this’. EMI had no choice but to sign them. Now you have no choice but to listen to them, to worship them. They are currently working on their first full length album, and once that’s a success, they’ll get asymmetrical haircuts and Japanese girlfriends and change their name to something more cool and ironically cheeky, like ’Hitlerburger’. But in the meantime, they’ll be up there ’da da da-ing’ and making you dance like a dork.