More about me: hello.
my name is daniel. i'm your soul mate, the one person on this earth who's perfect for you in every way. yes, i exist, and yes, everyone else you've been with is a pale substitute. we're meant to be together, but we've never met.
you see, there are 6 billion people in this world and you encounter at most 1,000 people per day, so statistically our paths would cross only once every 16,500 years. if we're going to beat those odds you need to work harder, because so far you've done a spectacular job of messing this up.
remember when you bought that pack of gum and the clerk asked you if you wanted a bag, but you were in a rush so you said no? if you'd waited that extra three seconds you would have missed the next train, making you late for the play, so they wouldn't have let you in the theater until the first scene was over, and i would have entered the lobby - also late - and we'd have gotten to talking. we probably would have just skipped the play and gotten coffee and then... Pow! fifty years of golden summers at the lake house.